When the dawn touched in saturday morning, november 20th 2010.
I was at ciamis when my phone trilled on the early morning. Then I woke up in half of consciousness.
Found the name "boby" on my phone screen. . . Bad feeling came, actually he never phoned me in such daybreak.
He haven't got up, usually. . . In unspeakable way, he said that his dad has just passed away.
I lost my word. I was shock. And I didn't know what I have to say to him.
With my tremor hand, I texted our friends bout that grief.
And I realized. . .
"Damn, I'm in a hundred miles far away". . . Besides, I'm in ciamis. . .
No, i mean, the remote village of ciamis. 3-5 hours from Bandung.
How could I get car or something to bring me out of here?
That day, activity was started at 5 am. And my duty forced me not to be alone, so that I didn't drowned with my own thought.
Feel so dilematic. . . You couldn't see a person for the first and the last but you can do your responsibility. . .
Or just go, but you threw up your duty. . .
I couldn't make a decision whether I leave or stay, until God chose the choice for me. . .
At 9am, I got info that the funeral would be held on 1 pm.
So impossible I could catch that from this distance.
So I stayed, and stucked. . . -.-
Maybe I couldn't get there. But prayer is always accepted anywhere, isn't that?
So I asked my Rabb, for keeping him well. . .
Give him the best place. Brightened up his grave. And make sure that he gets much better condition than he used to be.
I know. . . Now Allah guard him best than anyone can do. I'm certain, that was the best way for him. . .
Now, everything happen in a normal way. Boby hasn't been in cloudy mood anymore. . .
Though sometimes boby said "I miss my dad", and make me so speechless again.
I know it's painful for having a goodbye with someone you really love.
But when it's the best way, let it be.
Maybe you think you haven't made him proud of you yet, but hey baby. . . He may know from the uncountable distance.
Moreover you still have people that you have to make them proud of you too.
You are allowed to miss him deeply, but don't let it makes us fall down.
Listen dear. That's just about time. . . Someday, we'll get the second chance to meet that 'people'.
Until that time, make up ourself for beeing better person. Pursuit the true meaning of life.
So that, when that time comes to us, we could go back to Him sincerely.
With a relief because we have known the pseudo-happiness of world we live in.
Okay, maybe my words are absurd. . .
I totally confuse, what i should write bout this topics.
It's still difficult enough for me to tell u much story bout that.
Anyway, destiny is a secret and definite thing with no bargain rule inside. When it comes, just face it, cause no other choice you could take. . . (Oh God, I like my own words I've just wrote ^^)
People may leave, but love and the sweet memory will always stay. . .
(on my peach carpet 05.04)
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